Overview
Marriage separation is a way to assess the state of the relationship, and figure out whether it is salvageable or whether divorce is the best option, according to Colin Kennedy, a Canadian divorce consultant. it gives both partners a chance to assess their lives and the best future direction. It is often hard to adjust to separation when you're used to living with your spouse, especially when the eventual outcome is not clear. You can survive and benefit from it, no matter how it ends.
Step 1
Release your feelings about the marriage separation, the HelpGuide.org psychology site recommends. You will have a wide range of emotions, even if you eventually reconcile, because the time apart is a big adjustment. It counts as a loss, whether it's temporary or permanent. Keep a journal, or vent your feelings to understanding friends and family members.
Step 2
Look at both sides of the issue to help you decide whether the relationship is salvageable, Kennedy recommends. Make a list of reasons to save the marriage, and reasons for divorce. Go back over them, and see if you can determine factual reasons for each item on the list. If you can, the item is valid. If you cannot, it is emotionally based. You need to explore the emotional items further to see if you can work them out or if there is too much baggage.
Step 3
Focus on the future. HelpGuide.org explains that moving on is the end goal of a marriage separation. Sometimes that means divorce, and sometimes it means a fundamentally changed marriage. You must ready yourself to deal with either possibility. Think about what you would do in either case, and where you would like your life to go.
Step 4
Explore other interests. This will take some of your focus off of the marriage separation, and help you form new friendships that will benefit you whether you divorce or reconcile. HelpGuide.org recommends adult education classes, social clubs, volunteer groups and community activities.
Tips and Warnings
* You may have a hard time being objective about the best outcome for the separation. HelpGuide.org states that a professional therapist or support group can help you sort things out. A counselor or group provides a safe place to vent your feelings and get some guidance.
* Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist in Florida, warns that couples with children must tell them about the separation carefully. She explains that both parents should tell the children together and reassure them that they are loved. Don't burden them with too much information or place blame. Let them know they will still be able to see the parent who is moving out during the separation.
Marriage separation is a way to assess the state of the relationship, and figure out whether it is salvageable or whether divorce is the best option, according to Colin Kennedy, a Canadian divorce consultant. it gives both partners a chance to assess their lives and the best future direction. It is often hard to adjust to separation when you're used to living with your spouse, especially when the eventual outcome is not clear. You can survive and benefit from it, no matter how it ends.
Step 1
Release your feelings about the marriage separation, the HelpGuide.org psychology site recommends. You will have a wide range of emotions, even if you eventually reconcile, because the time apart is a big adjustment. It counts as a loss, whether it's temporary or permanent. Keep a journal, or vent your feelings to understanding friends and family members.
Step 2
Look at both sides of the issue to help you decide whether the relationship is salvageable, Kennedy recommends. Make a list of reasons to save the marriage, and reasons for divorce. Go back over them, and see if you can determine factual reasons for each item on the list. If you can, the item is valid. If you cannot, it is emotionally based. You need to explore the emotional items further to see if you can work them out or if there is too much baggage.
Step 3
Focus on the future. HelpGuide.org explains that moving on is the end goal of a marriage separation. Sometimes that means divorce, and sometimes it means a fundamentally changed marriage. You must ready yourself to deal with either possibility. Think about what you would do in either case, and where you would like your life to go.
Step 4
Explore other interests. This will take some of your focus off of the marriage separation, and help you form new friendships that will benefit you whether you divorce or reconcile. HelpGuide.org recommends adult education classes, social clubs, volunteer groups and community activities.
Tips and Warnings
* You may have a hard time being objective about the best outcome for the separation. HelpGuide.org states that a professional therapist or support group can help you sort things out. A counselor or group provides a safe place to vent your feelings and get some guidance.
* Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist in Florida, warns that couples with children must tell them about the separation carefully. She explains that both parents should tell the children together and reassure them that they are loved. Don't burden them with too much information or place blame. Let them know they will still be able to see the parent who is moving out during the separation.
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