Overview
Change is the main aspect of a marriage separation that both partners can agree is the most difficult hurdle to manage, according to marriage counselors at Marriage Quest. Changes are going to affect every area of your life, from friends and family relationships to financial affairs and living situations. The preparation for a separation brings on stress that affects your physical and emotional health as well as the health of your children and spouse. With careful planning and preparation for the emotional tension, you can make it through the separation without additional damage.
Step 1
Accept the fact that you're going to be single. If you have trouble with the forthcoming change, you should see a therapist or counselor to talk over your fears so that you can move into the separation with less tension and stress.
Step 2
Build a support system that you can turn to for emotional reassurance. Look for a support group, such as Divorce Care or Ojar, where other people who have been through similar situations can share tips with you and understand the feelings you may be undergoing.
Step 3
Pay off your credit cards and make sure all your bills are currently paid up to date. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, you need to protect your credit standing so that you can take care of yourself. Debt obtained by both parties remains your responsibility. You may need to rent an apartment, pay moving expenses or travel. You also should close joint accounts and open new accounts in your own name.
Step 4
Retain a lawyer to advocate for your interests and to make sure that you are treated fairly in the separation. Although your spouse may promise to send child support or pay the mortgage, without proper legal documentation, it's only your word against his. According to divorce attorney Ira Newman, separation can involve complicated legal issues that you may not have considered in your emotional state.
Tips and Warnings
* Apply your energy toward the positive aspects of your marriage and begin to forgive your spouse so that you might reconcile after a brief separation. When preparing for the split, take time to talk out all your differences and look for common ground and new commitment. According to psychologist Nancy Wasson, you can learn to control your thoughts and not obsess over the negative aspects of the relationship and possibly save your marriage.
* Don't get caught by surprise with unexpected divorce papers. According to Vance, if your marriage is in deep trouble, you should be making financial preparations long before either person mentions divorce or separation. Start squirreling away money and have a plan in place to take care of yourself and your children should your spouse suddenly decide to call it quits.
Change is the main aspect of a marriage separation that both partners can agree is the most difficult hurdle to manage, according to marriage counselors at Marriage Quest. Changes are going to affect every area of your life, from friends and family relationships to financial affairs and living situations. The preparation for a separation brings on stress that affects your physical and emotional health as well as the health of your children and spouse. With careful planning and preparation for the emotional tension, you can make it through the separation without additional damage.
Step 1
Accept the fact that you're going to be single. If you have trouble with the forthcoming change, you should see a therapist or counselor to talk over your fears so that you can move into the separation with less tension and stress.
Step 2
Build a support system that you can turn to for emotional reassurance. Look for a support group, such as Divorce Care or Ojar, where other people who have been through similar situations can share tips with you and understand the feelings you may be undergoing.
Step 3
Pay off your credit cards and make sure all your bills are currently paid up to date. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, you need to protect your credit standing so that you can take care of yourself. Debt obtained by both parties remains your responsibility. You may need to rent an apartment, pay moving expenses or travel. You also should close joint accounts and open new accounts in your own name.
Step 4
Retain a lawyer to advocate for your interests and to make sure that you are treated fairly in the separation. Although your spouse may promise to send child support or pay the mortgage, without proper legal documentation, it's only your word against his. According to divorce attorney Ira Newman, separation can involve complicated legal issues that you may not have considered in your emotional state.
Tips and Warnings
* Apply your energy toward the positive aspects of your marriage and begin to forgive your spouse so that you might reconcile after a brief separation. When preparing for the split, take time to talk out all your differences and look for common ground and new commitment. According to psychologist Nancy Wasson, you can learn to control your thoughts and not obsess over the negative aspects of the relationship and possibly save your marriage.
* Don't get caught by surprise with unexpected divorce papers. According to Vance, if your marriage is in deep trouble, you should be making financial preparations long before either person mentions divorce or separation. Start squirreling away money and have a plan in place to take care of yourself and your children should your spouse suddenly decide to call it quits.
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